The Waiting Wolf
by Stumblefoot
Summary: Adonis is back and BB doesn't win this time. In fact, he gets hurt, and has to stay a wolf a while. Does not being able to talk mean that Raven will finally say what she wants to say without BB interrupting? BB/Rae.My 1st fanfic, reviews welcome, thanx.
1. Going After Adonis

The Waiting Wolf

"ADONIS?" Beast Boy yelled. "I was just about to beat you in Megafight Ultrathon III and we have to go fight ADONIS in some stupid warehouse? Man..." An idea struck him and he leaned forward, looking over the dashboard for the video output jacks.

"First of all, B, you weren't about to beat me." Cyborg glanced at Beast Boy but focused most of his conversation on driving the T-Car. "Second, there's no way we're going to finish Megafight while I'm driving so quit tearing up the dashboard. And third, who would you rather be fighting? Trigon? Slade?"

"No, 'course not, it's just - it's just lame! We've got better things to do -"

"No we don't, especially not some video game." Cyborg stuck out an arm and pushed Beast Boy back in his seat as he braked to a quick stop. "We're here." He unbuckled his seat belt and looked over at Beast Boy again. "You know, this guy almost wiped you out the last time we fought him. Why aren't you taking this more seriously?"

"Wiped ME out? No way." Beast Boy got out of the car and the two Titans met up with the others in front of a dark downtown warehouse, Robin zooming out of nowhere on his R-Cycle and Raven and Starfire appearing from overhead. "It was dumb luck and that goop we got hit with. It wasn't him." He looked doubtfully at the silent building. "Are we sure this is the right place? It doesn't seem -"

As if on cue, a massive explosion lit up the inside of the warehouse and a dull boom shook the ground beneath the assembled Titans.

Beast Boy sighed. "I guess it is."

Robin took charge. "Cyborg, get us in there. Starfire and Raven, ready to attack. Beast Boy, distract him. I'm going to take a shot at deactivating his suit. Maybe we can finish this up quickly."

"One door, coming up!" A shot from one of Cyborg's sonic cannon made a hole in the side of the warehouse big enough even for the T-Car.

"Titans, go!"

Despite the occasional explosions, the warehouse was dark, the high, dirt-encrusted windows letting in almost no moonlight.

_Robin said I have to distract him_, thought Beast Boy, _But first I have to find him._ He morphed into a wolf, remembering the last time he fought Adonis. Brute strength didn't work, but maybe agility and cleverness would.

A green flash and Starfire's "I believe I have found the Adonis!" got Beast Boy running deeper into the darkness. His wolf's vision worked well enough for him to dodge the huge shipping crates and iron shelves that were scattered everywhere. As he got closer he saw Raven and Starfire keeping Adonis occupied with starbolts and telekinetically-flung tires. Beast Boy morphed back to human again and yelled, "Hey, Alame-o, nice outfit! I was about to win a video game and you wrecked it! What are you looking for? Did you get someone to ship you a personality?"

Adonis spun to face him and Beast Boy gulped; Adonis was wild-eyed and stumbling. He looked almost feral, not in control of himself. He took a step toward Beast Boy and snarled, "Where's the stuff?"

_Keep distracting him_, Beast Boy thought. "What stuff? Your brain? No idea!"

"The stuff! Give me that green stuff! I was powerful! I didn't need the suit! What did you do with the stuff?"

_The green goop_, Beast Boy thought, _it made us both powerful and it almost killed me. Why is he looking for it here?_ Behind Adonis he could see Robin, moving through the shadows. If Robin could get one clear shot at the controls on Adonis' suit...

"Hey, maybe I used it all!" Beast Boy danced around, waving his skinny arms, willing Adonis not to look behind him. Raven and Starfire covered Robin, and Beast Boy guessed that Cyborg was nearby, waiting for his own shot at the enemy. "I'm strong enough to kick your butt, even in that stupid suit!"

Adonis howled and charged. Beast Boy morphed into a wolf and dodged back and forth, not giving ground, hoping Robin could catch up and get to Adonis' cybernetics.

_He really is out of control_. Avoiding Adonis' slaps and punches was almost ridiculously easy. _Maybe he's addicted. Maybe he'll shut down if he can't get to the..._

Adonis roared his frustration and grabbed a wooden packing crate, flinging it at Beast Boy. His wolf-self sidestepped it and it shattered against some steel shelves behind him. _Robin, hurry up, I'm getting tired - _

A ragged wooden shard spun out of the debris and hit Beast Boy, burying itself in his leg. He let out a yelp and fell, sliding across the concrete floor, directly toward Adonis.

Beast Boy tried scrambling to his feet but his right back leg collapsed under him. He hit the floor just as a rush of noise from overhead signaled an incoming shot from Cyborg's sonic cannon. He vaguely heard Robin yelling, "This ends NOW!" and the whine of Starfire's green bolts. He blinked, wondering why everything was going black, then realized that Raven was beside him and had put up a shield of darkness to protect him both. She looked at him closely and exhaled sharply in relief. "I thought... never mind. You got hit. A chunk of wood, it's like an arrow in your leg. Don't move." He followed her glance and saw a few inches of splintered wood sticking out of his leg, above what would usually be his knee._ My flank? My thigh? Who cares? I've got to get that out, it HURTS..._ Blood oozed, trickling to the floor, where it glowed against the black light of Raven's shield.

Beast Boy braced himself to change and Raven put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "DON'T MORPH. You'll make it worse. If you try to change now the wood will tear you up. We'll get you back to the Tower. Until then, stay a wolf."

He nodded, feeling the cold of shock creeping over him. Raven was still staring at him and he was happy to keep looking at her. The fight with Adonis was still going on but it seemed far away. He felt a little dizzy. Raven. She had nice eyes. Too bad he was a wolf at the moment, he -

His leg twitched and a wave of nausea roiled through him as the wood moved against muscle. Her hand tightened on his shoulder. "Does it hurt badly?"

Beast Boy nodded again. Raven's eyes softened a little and she said, "I can't heal you with that wood in your leg, but I can make it stop hurting for a while. You're not going to like it when we move you, anyway." Her other hand touched his forehead, and his last thought was _This close to her, and I'm a wolf? This stin_- and then everything really did go black.

When Beast Boy came to his senses again Raven was still there, his leg still hurt like hell (though someone had cut away the excess wood and his leg was bandaged and immobile), and he was still a wolf.

_I didn't change shape_, he thought. _I didn't know I could pass out and keep the same form. How did I do that? I wonder if Raven..._ He moved his head a little and saw he was back in Titans Tower, in the medical center. Raven was sitting across the room, head bent, hood on, meditating, he guessed. He tried to say something and it came out as a whine before he remembered he wasn't human at the moment. Raven started, then looked at him. She drew back her hood and went to kneel beside him where he lay on a gurney.

"Are you back?" He nodded. "Still hurts?" He nodded again. Raven looked off into space for a moment, trying to remember everything so she could fill him in. "After you got hit Cyborg ... lost his temper. He got Adonis and his suit and set fire to the warehouse accidentally with a couple of missile shots. We're lucky the whole downtown didn't go up." She straightened and paced a little, a few steps away from him. "I brought you back here, while everyone else is cleaning up the fire. When Robin gets back he'll get that wood out of your leg, and I'll heal you while he cleans out the wound. I could try to heal you now, but all I can do is encourage the process. I can't take out arrows or wood chunks or whatever that is. Your leg could get infected or I could make things worse." She knelt beside the gurney again. "I can make it stop hurting, though, let you rest until Robin comes back. Do you want me to?"

Beast Boy shook his head, then whined a little, looking at his paws, then the rest of himself, then at her.

Raven understood the question immediately. "You stayed a wolf the whole time, yes." She glanced at him, then away, and then, to Beast Boy's astonishment, blushed. "Remember when I was studying ... with Malchior?"

_She won't even mention that creep's name usually_, Beast Boy thought._ No wonder she's blushing._

"At one point I morphed you ... into a rat. It's like flipping a switch in your head. When I helped you to sleep I just kind of - locked the switch? It's not permanent," she continued quickly, "and now that you're awake you can change again, but you shouldn't." Raven fiddled with the clasp on her cloak, obviously wanting to put her hood up. "I don't like... doing what he taught me. That kind of magic, and on my friends... I'm sorry. I couldn't think of anything else to do."

_From now on I am only morphing into things that can talk_, thought Beast Boy. He barked once for her attention and when she looked at him he tried to shrug.

"Thanks." Raven drew up her hood, then lowered it and looked at Beast Boy intently. He stared back, wondering what was the matter. _Dude! Do I have spinach in my fangs?_ Finally she took a deep breath and shook her head. "You really, really scared me."

_What?_

"When you first got hit and I saw you, it looked like you'd gotten stabbed in the chest, or in the heart. And then you fell, and you started to bleed, and I thought ... I thought that was it." Raven blinked and impatiently wiped her eyes. "And I thought ... how stupid, to be fighting someone like Adonis, and have something like that happen, but there you were on the floor and you weren't moving." Her voice broke a little and she tried to glare at him through her tears, then turned away. "And if you weren't morphed I could count on you to say something dumb at this point and make me angry, and I wouldn't be making an idiot of myself."

_Oh, man, what do I-_? Embarrassed, Beast Boy stared at her, wishing he could say something, anything - then he grinned as only a wolf can, and took a huge gulp of air. And as Raven looked back at him he let out a enormous **BURRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP**.

Startled, Raven almost laughed. "You pinhead," she said, smiling crookedly with tear tracks on her face, "If you can do that, you're going to be fine. I should have put a bandage around your muzzle." She reached out a shaking hand and touched him - running her hand gently over the fur between his ears - before turning away, pulling up her hood and her cloak around her, and all but running to her chair on the other side of the room.

Beast Boy turned to watch her, bemused, still feeling her hand on his head. Sighing, he stretched out, listening to the low buzz of her meditation chant, trying to follow it. Maybe it was because he couldn't talk anyway, but it seemed easier to follow the chant as a wolf, and it seemed to ease the horrible ache in his leg. He watched Raven and drifted, floating alongside the pain, thinking about that jerk Malchior, what kind of animal would be best to squish him into a dragon pancake...

He had just decided on rhino (stab first, then squash) when the communicator light over the medical panel came on. Robin's voice sounded tinny and strained over the speaker. "Raven."


	2. Hurting and Healing

Raven got up quickly and went to the communicator, but Beast Boy noticed she left her hood up. "Robin."

The video screen flickered on. Robin stood in front of the still-smoking warehouse, lights from a police car flashing offscreen and painting the scene in bright blue and red. "Are you and Beast Boy all right?"

"Fine. Beast Boy is stable. Are you coming back soon?"

Starfire flew into the shot, her uniform smudged with soot. She was smiling as usual. "We have worked with the fighters of fire and the police! Only the warehouse and one other building burned. Cyborg dismantled the suit of the Adonis and taught me several new Earth words! When he pulled the arms off he said –"

"- I can guess what he said," Raven interrupted. "I think I know those words already. Are you coming back soon?"

"Yes, we're almost done here." Robin glanced off to his left, toward the police lights. "Let me check in with the captain and we'll leave after that."

"All right." The screen went dark. Raven turned toward Beast Boy but didn't come near him. "Did you hear that?"

Beast Boy raised his head and barked.

"It'll just be a little longer." Raven went back to her chair.

Beast Boy lowered his chin to the gurney but kept watching Raven. _Come back_, he thought. _Come back and put your hand on my head. I know I tell you you're creepy, Raven, and you are – but you're more. It's not a particular part of you, not Happy Raven or Timid Raven or Brave Raven – it's just you. It's just Raven. Come back._

In her chair, Raven moved uneasily and held her cloak closer to her, and Beast Boy wondered if the empath had caught the edge of his feelings. Not wanting to upset her further, he shifted his thoughts, wishing Robin would hurry up. _When I'm changed back I'm going to take the trouble alert off the hook, and then I'm going to finish kicking Cy's butt in Megafight Ultrathon III , and then I'm going to sleep for a week... _

Beast Boy started out of a light doze, hearing the elevator doors slide open. A moment later Cyborg came in and stood beside his gurney, shaking his head sadly. "I know I call you grass stain all the time, but that didn't mean I thought you should plant a tree in your leg. What's next? How about some petunias on your head? We can call you Lawn Boy."

"Very funny," Beast Boy tried to say, but it came out as a whine/snarl. He glared at Cyborg, knowing he'd get the gist.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire flew in at her usual fast clip. "Are you well? Or if not well at least better? I was so worried!"

"We were all worried," Robin said, entering the room. "Beast Boy, how do you feel?"

_Like I want this stick out of my leg_, Beast Boy thought.

"You got hit with part of a plank from a packing crate," Robin said, moving around the room and assembling some medical instruments as he did so. "After the fight was over I found what was left of it. There were tools in it – no chemicals or anything like that – so all we have to worry about is healing you, there won't be any aftereffects.. Starfire, can you monitor his vitals while we work? Cyborg, you're with me."

"Dibs on sticking him with a needle," Cyborg said, smiling evilly.

"I'm hoping we don't have to. Raven, can you – ?"

"Yes," Raven said, coming toward them, her hood still up. She raised a hand and slid her chair across the room, parking it at the head of the gurney. Sitting down, she lowered her hood. "Beast Boy, look at me."

He did. Raven's eyes were red-rimmed, but at some point she'd managed to scrub the tears off her face. "Keep looking at me and don't watch them. Do you remember when you used my magic mirror?"

He nodded a little, tensing, trying to tune out the sound of scalpels clanging against a metal holding pan.

"You and Cyborg fought a two-faced statue. Do you remember that?"

_Dude, how could I forget? _

"That statue's normal function is to be a guardian against reoccurring dreams and bad memories. But it can block other things, like pain. I'm going to act as that statue while Robin is removing those wood parts from your leg. I need you to be as quiet and still as you can." One side of Raven's mouth quirked. "I know telling you to be quiet is like telling Robin to stop thinking, but it'll be a lot easier for me."

_Great. Kick a guy when he's down. _Beast Boy wished he could put his hands over his ears and block out the murmuring of Robin and Cyborg deciding how they were going to go about cutting into his leg. He shuddered all over and made a determined effort to relax.

"Don't move, and don't watch them." Raven put one hand on his forearm and slumped forward. Beast Boy could see the small movements of her cloak change as her heartbeat got slower and slower. Finally she chanted "Azarath … Metrion... Zinthos," taking a a breath for each word.

As _Zinthos_ dragged out Beast Boy felt the air still and the scene around him freeze. He had been idly looking at the insignia on the back of Raven's glove and now it saw it blur, then whisk away in a smear of light. Vaguely he heard Raven's voice, but not all the words were clear. "He can't... about an hour... let me know, it's dangerous..." Everything around him faded, faded, faded, faded...

Suddenly he realized he was human again and sitting on the shore of the small island on which Titans Tower resided. He had often come down to these rocks to sit and ponder after a particularly difficult fight – either with a villain or with Raven, come to think of it. And after what happened with Terra, he had practically lived out here...

… he didn't want to think about that. Glancing up he saw a twelve foot tall statue beside him, facing out across the water. It was Raven, but gray stone. It was the statue of Raven's mind, but it had only one face, and the four eyes were white, not red. Instead of two swords it held a sword and a staff made of black light. "Dude, I'd hate for **that** to chase me into a dark alley."

"It's a statue," Raven said behind him. "It doesn't move." She dropped out of the air and picked her way across the rocks toward the shore where he sat.

"Raven? Sweet! How did you – oh, wait, I have to be quiet –"

"You have to be quiet out there." Raven settled beside him and drew back her hood. "This time we're in _your_ mind, if you haven't noticed.. You can talk here, if you want –" she shook her head and muttered, "_if_ you want to talk. As if you didn't."

"My mind?" Beast Boy looked around. "But this is Titans Tower!"

"Sort of. Look out there." Raven pointed across the waves at the horizon, away from the city. The sky, thick with clouds, glowed an angry red. The air was filled the sound of a distant, muted growling, like muffled thunder. "That's Robin and Cyborg, working on your leg. The statue is keeping you from feeling the pain."

Beast Boy glanced down at his leg. It was fine. He looked at Raven. She shrugged. "Sometimes, what you are and what is happening to you are not the same thing. You get used to it." She turned and gestured back at Titans Tower. "Do you notice anything strange about it?"

Beast Boy turned around and squinted back at the T-shape that loomed behind them. "No, it looks the – hey, wait, where's the door?"

"There isn't one. I think that's where you keep the Beast."

"In the _Tower_? I'm keeping that thing in Titans Tower? No way, that's awful! I –"

"It's not awful," Raven snapped. "It makes sense. Titans Tower is the most powerful and safe place you can think of. You're protecting the Beast from the world and the world from the Beast. The Tower is only a symbol here. It's okay."

"Urgh." Beast Boy shivered. "I was thinking about going in there and playing Megafight."

Raven's eyes narrowed and she turned back to watch the water. "Oh, I think you'd be playing mega fight, all right."

"Wait, so this is Titans Tower? This is Jump City?"

"More or less."

"So I could go get a pizza? I could go to the park? I could borrow a moped and go for a ride?"

"For a little while, you could. Until they're finished working on you. I have to stay here, with the statue."

Beast Boy considered. "Nah. I'll stay too. It wouldn't be any fun without you there."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "You've told me several times that it isn't any fun **with** me there."

"Aw, come on, Raven! I know you don't like parties and pizza and all that. But it's still better with you there. It's always better when you're around. Even if you're just getting mad at my jokes. Because... you're you," Beast Boy finished lamely. "Because you're near."

Raven's lips tightened and she said nothing, watching the waves. But her cheeks turned red.

Beast Boy sighed to himself and slumped down, elbows on his knees, imagining he could hear Cyborg and Robin talking in the endless boiling muttering of the clouds. In front of him, his leg getting operated on. Behind him, a primal animal that he had to keep locked up as much as possible. Abruptly he looked at his hands, wondering what he was, what part of him was actually sitting here, on this rock, in his mind.

Beast Boy wasn't one for philosophical musings. Trying to figure out what he was between his wounded body and the ultimate expression of his powers was like wandering into a hall of mirrors, and the more he tried to think it through the more he felt his brain unraveling, like there were a hundred copies of him, sitting on a hundred rocks, in a hundred minds, but whose minds... "Raven," he said abruptly.

Only her eyes moved, looking toward him.

He wanted to ask her to explain, to help him understand, but instead heard himself saying, his voice shaking, "I don't know how I can be out there, and in here, and the Beast in the Tower... where do I begin and end? Who's sitting here? Who am I? I feel like I'm falling apart..."

Raven looked at him a long time, then slowly held out her hand. He grabbed it tight, squeezing his eyes shut. She said, her voice quiet but gentle as she could make it,

"You're you .That's what you have to remember, wherever you are and whatever's happening, you're still yourself. Don't try to think about all of it at once, you need years to learn and –" a thread of laughter ran through her voice – "you have to read a lot of nasty old books."

"You're Beast Boy, you're here with me, you'll be all right. You're all right."

He held on, keeping his eyes shut, and she kept talking, about fatigue and adrenalin and fighting and fear, talking almost at random, drowning out the thunder from the sky. He listened, not understanding and not caring. He just wanted to get away from the thoughts that were chasing themselves around his head...


	3. Wake Up

"Beast Boy."

Beast Boy's eyes popped open. He was back in the medical center, laying on the gurney, a wolf again.

Cyborg was cleaning the medical instruments, and Starfire was typing something on the computer. Raven was moving slowly around the room, trying to work the stiffness out of muscles that had stayed perfectly still for over an hour.

Robin leaned over him. "Are you awake? We're all done. Change back so we can check your leg."

Morphing was as easy at it always was. Beast Boy smiled, relieved – he was a little worried he'd been a wolf so long he'd be stuck. He rolled over on his side and held his arm out, surprised to see a hand instead of paws. "Dude..."

"FIVE BUCKS!" Cyborg yelled triumphantly. "Robin, I _told_ you his first word would be dude!"

Robin laughed, checking Beast Boy's now-human leg. "And I had to bet on 'sweet.' Raven, everything looks okay from what we did. Can you finish healing him?"

Raven came back to them, hood up. Beast Boy met her eyes, figuring he'd see the usual annoyance, or irritation, or denial: what happens in Beast Boy's mind stays in Beast Boy's mind. Instead, she met his glance and her gaze held reassurance, and understanding. He felt abnormally aware of her fingertips as she touched his knee lightly and whispered some words. A brief flare of black light and his leg was perfect.

"Great work!"

"Thanks, Robin. I just wish I could do the same thing for my back." Raven turned away again, rolling her shoulders under her cloak.

Cyborg gave Beast Boy's gurney a little push. "All right, B, you have spent way too long lying around today. It. Is. Waffle. Time. Can you sit up?"

"No problem. I'm all right now." Beast Boy braced his arms and pushed up, but he had been lying down too long and trying to get upright made him dizzy. Cyborg grabbed him and set him gently on his feet, holding him up.

"If you're all right you'll have to do better than that! Careful or you're gonna fall!"

Beast Boy looked across the room, at Raven. She stood at the computer, talking to Starfire, looking at the records of his surgery. _I won't overthink it_, he said to himself. _But I'm me, and you're you, and things are better when you're nearby_... "Dude," he muttered to himself, speaking half to Cyborg and half to his own thoughts, "I think I already did."


End file.
